Learning to Say No: Finding Joy and Balance in Teaching

When we first start out teaching — whether it’s dance, fitness, or any kind of class — most of us say "yes" to everything. Even if it’s an hour’s drive away, we’ll still teach it. We’re eager to gain experience, build our reputation, and honestly, get paid to learn on the job. That's how it should be at first.

In the early days, I said yes to everything too. I crammed all my evenings full of classes — mostly dance — and even added after-school clubs and weekend classes. Eventually, I went part-time in my day job to make space for more teaching. But soon enough, I was maxed out. My days stretched from morning classes, a short midday break (where I barely had time to eat and learn choreography), then straight into evening classes. It became overwhelming fast.

Even once you’re "in demand," the panic of not knowing where the next paycheck is coming from lingers. So, we keep saying yes — even when we really don't want to. We end up tired, frustrated, and sometimes even crying on the way to classes we booked ourselves into. Sure, we show up and put on a good face, but inside, we're drained.

A wise woman once told me:"If it doesn’t bring you joy and it doesn’t bring you money, why are you doing it?"

Now, I live by that.

• Some gigs bring pure joy and are worth doing for free.

• Some bring in great money — even if they’re a bit inconvenient.

• But the ones that bring neither? Those are the ones we really need to rethink.

  
  

Too often, we still say yes to these low-joy, low-pay gigs just out of fear — fear of missing out on future work, fear of classes dropping off. But here’s the truth: teaching a class you dread isn’t worth it. If it makes you feel that miserable, it's time to let it go.

It’s okay to say: "This timing isn't working for me anymore. I’m so grateful, but I can't continue."

When new opportunities come in, like a corporate class where they say they have "no budget," weigh it up properly. Big businesses often have health and wellness budgets — don’t underquote yourself. Your corporate rate should be different (higher!) than your usual gym or studio rate because you’re offering a specialist service, not just another class.

If you don't want to do a job because of the timing, the pay, or the energy required — it’s absolutely okay to say no. Remember: if this job stops feeling good, what’s the point? You could be doing something else with regular hours and less emotional output.

This career — fitness, dance, community — requires us to show up and shine every time. It's so much easier to do that when you love your schedule, feel valued financially, and are taking care of yourself.

I’ve made some big changes to create a better balance. I dropped a night class I loved but was too exhausting to keep up with. Now, I finish earlier some nights, have time for myself, and feel so much better. It was tough to make the decision — but the relief afterwards was incredible.

Also, a little side note: we have to be honest about aging and our bodies. I have scoliosis, and my back is not what it was six years ago. Teaching non-stop participative classes isn’t sustainable anymore. So I’m planning ahead, choosing jobs carefully, and making sure I don’t burn myself out.

Saying no is part of long-term success.

There is always more work out there if we stay open-minded and proactive. And remember: sometimes, an offer isn’t right for you — and that’s okay. You don’t need to explain or justify it. A polite "thank you, but not right now" is enough.

So here’s the takeaway:

• Say no more often when it’s right.

• Say yes when the opportunity brings joy, money, or genuine growth.

• And always — always — look after yourself first.

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Happy teaching, and here's to building a career you genuinely love! ✨